Gaines-frickin’-kill kittens-ville, FL

Well, let me tell you about Gainesville, Florida. it’s a dump, it’s the worst place ever. It’s like a weird rotten, broken down jungle chock full of rednecks and idiot college kids and vines. I honestly can say that in my lifetime I’ve never hated anything more than this place. Just go, and you’ll agree with me immediately. My biggest hate for this place stems from the death of two kittens. Yes, KITTENS, who kills kittens?? who???? Gainesville, Florida kills kittens. Being a recent transplant to the area, I was lonely, and bored to death as there is not a thing to do but walk to the wal-mart and keep tally of UF football player sightings. When I found a litter of kittens in my sand and weed ridden backyard I became enthralled and vied to take these kittens into my standard student looking apartment complex home. and I loved them, and I bottle fed them and they were the sweetest things ever. My partner at the time stressed to me that we couldn’t keep all three kittens, which I also agreed with, and in calling around found the name of a shelter to bring them to – which I begrudgingly did. Two of the three kittens left me that day, and I brought my baby home to help her forget of her lost brothers. A couple of days went by and I called the shelter to check on the boys’ status. The person on the other line fumbled about before telling me that they had been found to have worms, thus the need for them to be put down. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I hate you Gainesville, not because you killed these two kittens for the cost of a $5 bottle of deworming crap, but because of everything you stand for. Yuppie douche bag entitled college kids, backwoods intelligence, people moaning about problems that are virtually non-existent – it’s the most petty overrated podunk town in America, and I stand by that. Sink Alachua Sink.